Blackgentlemen.com Read online

  The walk to the front door was the longest Clarissa had ever taken in her life. Her heart pounded violently against her ribcage and filled her ears with the unsteady rhythm of its echo.

  Jeanette looked over at her as they reached the door. Clarissa’s face was blank as her skin began to lose its color.

  “You want me to do it?” Jeanette asked as she hovered her finger in front of the doorbell.

  Clarissa slowly shook her head no. If it had to be done, she’d be the one to do it.

  As soon as she’d pressed the small white button, the door opened and an unfamiliar face greeted her. As Clarissa tried to find her voice, the impatient girl on the other side spoke up.

  “Can I help you?” she asked.

  Clarissa slowly blinked her eyes and she was about to give her answer when she heard a voice call out, “Who is it, Brie?”

  “I’m trying to find out. I guess they’re here for Manny.” She looked back at Clarissa and Jeanette with a wicked grin that curled up the corners of her mouth.

  “If you don’t mind waiting a few minutes, he’ll be right back. He just made a quick beer run.”

  “Brie!” Julian called out.

  “Coming, J,” she crooned in a sexy voice. “Why don’t you guys come in? I have to take Julian a towel.”

  Clarissa was speechless as Jeanette shoved her into the apartment to confront her biggest fear. She looked around at the familiar place. She’d been there numerous times, but this was the first time she’d ever felt uncomfortable. This was the first time that she actually felt like a guest—and an unwelcome one at that.

  The almond-colored girl with a short, light-brown bob, who Julian had endearingly referred to as “Brie,” left them standing in the living room as she disappeared into Julian’s room. Clarissa could hear the bathroom door open and him thanking her for the towel.

  “Girl, get your ass in there,” Jeanette stated to Clarissa between clenched teeth.

  Her feet felt like ten-pound weights as she trudged her way toward Julian’s room. The door was closed and panic began to set in. What was going on in there? She placed her ear to the door so she could eavesdrop.

  “So, who was at the door?” Julian asked.

  “Two chicks for Manny.”

  Clarissa couldn’t believe that she’d made no mention that they were still waiting in the living room. She placed her hand on the knob and slowly turned it. When she finally opened the door, what she found would take years to remove from her memory.

  Julian stood in the doorway of the bathroom with only a towel draped around his waist. Brie was sprawled out across his bed in nothing but her Vicki Secrets.

  “What the…”

  “Rissa?! Wha-whaa-t are you doing here?” Julian glanced over at Brie, who was trying her best to cover up.

  “How could you?” Clarissa screamed.

  Jeanette jumped to her feet and ran to the door as Clarissa came storming out. She glanced in the room and shook her head.

  Julian tried desperately to grab something quick to put on.

  “Let’s go, Nette. Now!” Clarissa screamed as she fumbled with the door.

  Jeanette came up behind her and opened the door just as Manny appeared on the other side.

  “Hey! What’s up?!” he excitedly questioned when Clarissa nearly knocked him down as she made her escape. In his stumble, he caught Jeanette by the arm and asked, “What’s going on? What happened?”

  Jeanette shrugged her shoulders and shook her head in disgust before replying, “Go ask your boy.” She squirmed free of his grip and ran to catch up with Clarissa, who was racing down the narrow steps of the building.

  “Rissa! Rissa, wait!” she yelled to her friend’s back.

  But Clarissa refused to stop until she reached Clark’s car. “Let’s go! Now! Get me out of here!” Her face was streaked with a constant flow of tears.

  Clark started the car and waited for Jeanette to scramble into the back. “What the hell happened?”

  “Rissa?” Jeanette sighed, reaching over and touching her friend gently on the shoulder.

  Because Clarissa began to bawl uncontrollably, Jeanette talked her into sitting in the back with her. As Jeanette made her way to the rear seat, she heard someone calling her name. She knew it was Julian. Too shaken to confront him and too enraged to reply, she hurriedly climbed in and demanded Clark drive off.

  “Clarissa, Baby, wait! It’s not what you think!” Barefoot and running, he was trying to pull his shirt over his head in an attempt to cover up from the cold air.

  Jeanette rolled down the window. “You’re right, Julian! It’s what she saw that has her upset!” she screamed as Clark nearly hit him while backing up.

  Beating on the window of the car, he begged, “Please, Rissa! Don’t leave! Let me explain!”

  Clark rolled down his window this time. “My man, I don’t think she wants to hear it. Now, if you don’t mind, get your fucking hands off my car and move before I hit you this time.” Clark smiled at Julian as he sped off. He felt victorious as he left Julian cursing him and begging his soon to be ex-flame.

  The ride back was eerily quiet. The only sounds to be heard were those of the traffic outside and the engine of Clark’s Beemer. Jeanette sat with Clarissa’s head in her lap while she tried to console her and stop her crying.

  As Clark pulled up in front of the dormitory, he couldn’t help feeling just a wee bit guilty. After all, he had been the bearer of the news. However, he simply justified to himself that all was fair in love and war and that he was the best man standing. And although he had only been the messenger, Clarissa was upset with him too, not even saying good-bye as she exited the rear door of the vehicle.

  Upon arrival back at the room, the girls couldn’t help but immediately notice the answering machine’s red light swiftly flashing, indicating that someone had been trying to reach them. Knowing that it was none other than a barrage of calls from Julian, Clarissa quickly erased the messages without so much as taking a listen.

  “I don’t ever want to hear his voice again,” she sternly stated.

  “What are you going to do now? I mean, your plans for the break? I would tell you to come with me, but it’s too late to make other arrangements. Buying you a ticket now would cost a grip,” Jeanette explained.

  “Don’t worry about me. You go and have a good time. I’ll be okay,” Clarissa responded through clogged nostrils.

  “Well, you can’t stay here. Are you going to call your parents and have them come pick you up?” Jeanette asked.

  “I’ll manage.” Clarissa walked around the now empty room, pulling her luggage to the door when the phone rang. The two young women simultaneously made eye contact and after the fourth ring, Jeanette walked over and picked it up.

  “Yeah?” she asked into the receiver.

  “Oh thank God, you’re there. Nette, please let me speak to Rissa. I’m on my way there,” Julian pleaded with Jeanette.

  “Look, I don’t think you should come here. She doesn’t want to talk to you now. So do us all a favor and just stay away,” she replied.

  “Nette, please. It’s not what she thinks. I just need to talk to her for a moment. Please, Nette,” he whined.

  Jeanette began to feel sorry for him, but her loyalty belonged to Clarissa. She placed her hand over the mouthpiece of the phone. “What do you want me to tell him? I think he’s crying, Rissa.”

  Clarissa paused for a moment, then shook her head violently and began to grab her bags. “Tell him I’m not here. Tell him I don’t want to see him. Tell him I don’t want to talk to him. Tell him that he’s dead to me!” She frantically ran around the room shoving the last of her things into a knapsack.

  “Look, Julian, I know you want to talk to her, but I think you should give her some time now. She’s not going to talk to you and, by the time you get here, she’ll be gone,” Jeanette explained.

  “Gone? Where? How?” he asked.

  “Just turn around, Julian. Turn around.”
With that, Jeanette hung up the phone on him and looked at her best friend.

  “Is he still coming?” Clarissa asked.

  “I guess he’s on the freeway now. So, what are you gonna do? If you don’t want to talk to him, you’re gonna have to leave tonight,” Jeanette told her.

  Clarissa picked up the phone and punched in Clark’s cell phone number. After talking for a few seconds, she turned to Jeanette. “Help me get my bags.”

  “Please don’t tell me you’re going to Clark’s?”

  “Where else am I going to go? Everyone else is gone and Julian doesn’t know where he lives.”

  Jeanette was uncomfortable with the arrangement, but she knew there was no other way. She reluctantly helped Clarissa pull her bags out to the circular drive and stood with her as they waited for Clark to pull up. She prayed Julian wouldn’t get there before Clark got back to pick Clarissa up. Hopefully, he wouldn’t come before she was able to get out of there herself. There was no way she was going to talk with him either.

  “You know if you need me, just call and leave a message. I’ll check my voicemail every chance I get, okay?” Jeanette assured her.

  “No. I don’t want to ruin your cruise. Why should you be miserable because my life is pathetic? You have a good time and call me when you get back.” She tried to smile as they hugged.

  Clark came around the corner almost at full speed. He stopped in front of them, popped his trunk, and quickly jumped out to load her bags.

  “You be careful with that snake, Rissa,” Jeanette whispered into her ear.

  She smiled for the first time since Clark had dropped the bomb on her. “He’s harmless, Girl. I’ll be okay.” They shared their final embrace for the year of 1992 right before Clarissa and Clark pulled off.

  When school resumed, Clarissa surprised Jeanette with a key to their new off campus apartment, along with the news that she’d spent the break with Clark, and that they were now a couple. For the remaining four months of school, she’d refused to make any contact with Julian. And as soon as they’d graduated, she and Clark were married and moved to Atlanta. How her life had changed in the blink of an eye.

  Clarissa sat immobile in front of her computer. Thinking she’d buried the memory of that night horrible night in an unreachable place years ago. But how easily it had come back at just the thought of seeing him again. She felt it was time for her to hear him out. But was she ready for what he had to say?

  Chapter Three

  Checking one last time to make sure she wasn’t forgetting anything, Clarissa placed her bags at the foot of the stairs.

  “You ready yet?” Clark yelled up to her.

  “In a sec. Could you put my bags in the car for me?” She closed the junk drawer in the bathroom and turned out the light.

  “Damn. You’d think you were going forever with all the shit you’ve got here.” He picked up the larger bag and headed to the car.

  “I wish I was,” she mumbled to herself.

  She straightened the waist of her jeans and adjusted the collar of her black leather, three-quarter-length coat. Making one last glance at her room, she turned out the light and headed down the stairs. She picked up the last two bags at the foot of the stairs and walked out to load them in Clark’s convertible BMW.

  “Why didn’t you just drive my truck?” She motioned toward the black Lexus RX300 that was parked next to him. “It would have more room for my bags.” She dropped the bags at his feet.

  “I don’t want to drive that shit. What’s the big deal? It’s just the two us riding so, what I can’t get in the trunk, can go in the back.” He threw the other bags in the trunk.

  “Well, I hope you’re not planning to put the top down. I don’t want my hair to be a mess when I get there.” She placed her carryon bag in the backseat along with her laptop.

  “Actually I was, but since I don’t feel like hearing your mouth, I’ll keep it up until I drop you off.”

  “I appreciate it,” she said to him. Glancing at him from the corner of her eye, she couldn’t wait until she stepped foot out of his car at Hartford. She would do her best not to make much conversation with him on their short drive to the airport. She was still angry with him for asking her if he could drop her off at MARTA to catch the train to the airport.

  “Asshole,” she thought. It would be so nice to be away from him for a week.

  He pulled into Delta’s terminal and jumped out to unload her bags. She gathered her things from inside and motioned for a skycap.

  She walked around to the back of the car where Clark was close to tossing her bags out. “You don’t have to be so eager. I’ll be out of your hair…I mean your scalp—in a few minutes.” She knew Clark was sensitive about the loss of his hair. After his hairline had begun to recede, she’d talked him into just shaving it all off.

  “Not soon enough,” he tried to mumble under his breath. Clarissa fought the urge to challenge him on it. She reminded herself that she was almost gone. And she refused to let him put a damper on her trip.

  After squaring things up with the skycap, she turned to Clark to bid him farewell. “Don’t have too much fun while I’m gone.” He made a half-hearted attempt to kiss her.

  “I’ll try not to,” he said dryly.

  She turned and walked into the terminal without looking back, not wanting Clark to see the smile that was on her face.

  Two hours later, she was standing in the terminal at JFK. She was so excited about seeing Jeanette. They’d had to cancel the last Girlfriends Day. Clarissa was trying to meet a deadline and Jeanette was away on business in Europe.

  Spotting Jeanette, Clarissa rushed toward her with outstretched arms.

  “Nette!!” she exclaimed as they hugged each other tightly.

  “Rissa!!” Jeanette called back as they made a spectacle of themselves.

  “Girl, I thought I was going to be late. I just got here.” Jeanette grabbed one of the bags from Clarissa’s hands.

  “I’m surprised to see you here. I thought I’d have to meet you in our usual place. In baggage claim.” They both laughed.

  “Well, I shocked you, didn’t I? Let’s get your bags so we can go grab something to eat. I hope you’re starving. There’s this new place that I want to try out.”

  “Girl, am I. I was rushing so to get out of the house this morning that I forgot to eat something.”

  Once they were comfortable in Jeanette’s ’99 silver Passat, she chimed in about Julian.

  “So…”

  Clarissa knew where she was going, but decided to string her along. “So what?” She looked out the window at the beautiful New York skyline.

  “Don’t play with me, Woman. You know what I’m talking about. What’s up with the man?” She playfully tapped Clarissa on her shoulder.

  “Oh…Clark is his usual self.”

  “An Asshole,” they both chimed in unison.

  “Stop playing, Girl. I want to know if you had a chance to talk to Julian.” She clicked on the radio to Hot97.

  “Oh, that. Yeah. I emailed him back.” She turned her attention back to the scenery.

  “Well?”

  “Well, what?” She smiled.

  “Don’t make me go ghetto on your ass, okay?”

  Clarissa laughed. “Well, now, since you put it that way.” She laughed.

  “I’m serious. What did he have to say?”

  “Nothing much. We talked about how each of us is doing now…He asked me about you…Oh yeah, we made plans to meet up for dinner tomorrow night.”

  Jeanette began to scream at the top of her lungs with delight, swerving slightly as she wiggled around in her seat.

  “Girl, you better keep your eyes and mind on the road.” Clarissa sat up and pulled on her seatbelt.

  “I’m so happy, Rissa.”

  “Why? We’re just having dinner. He may not be romantically interested in me any more. And I keep telling you…”

  “Please don’t say anything about being married again.
I don’t need to be reminded of the terrible mistake you made years ago.”

  Clarissa was hurt by the comment, but knew that Jeanette was telling the truth. As much as she loved her friend, she was too in love with the idea of marriage to listen to her warnings.

  Clarissa turned her attention back to the passing scenery. She always wondered where she would’ve ended up if she hadn’t married Clark. Jeanette tried to get her to move to New York with her. At one point, she’d seriously considered it, but after getting involved with Clark, the thought never crossed her mind again.

  Jeanette glanced over at her. “What are you thinking so hard about?”

  “Nothing. Just enjoying the ride.” She leaned her head back against the headrest, closed her eyes, and relaxed as the sun made its way into the car to warm her face.

  “Yeah, right. You’re over there reminiscing about what it used to be like.”

  “Your mind is forever in the gutter,” said Clarissa.

  “Well, evidently he’s looking for somebody or he wouldn’t have his info posted on that site.”

  Clarissa hadn’t given it a second thought that she found him on BlackGentlemen.com, which was clearly a site that was in the business of helping people connect.

  Jeanette reached down and turned the radio up. Her favorite morning show was on Hot97.

  Feelings from the past were running rampant through Clarissa’s brain. I’m married, she told herself. She’d regretted the breakup with Julian and had considered trying to work things out at one point. But she knew she’d never get beyond that fateful night. She thought back to the email…

  Hey lady,

  I must admit that I was shocked when I saw the email from Nette. Especially after trying to reach you for years. I’m glad that life is treating you well. I’m doing okay myself. Can’t complain. Heard you’re going to be in the Big Apple in a few days. I hope you can find it in your heart to make a little time for me. I’d love to see you. Send me an email and I’ll give you all my information. If you don’t get back to me, I’ll know that you don’t want to see me and I won’t bother you again. I hope that you do though. I was in Orlando a few months ago and rode by your parents’ house. No one was there and I never got around to going back before I left. Can’t believe it’s been six years since we’ve seen or talked to each other. I’m still trippin’ on you marrying Clark. I guess he got what he wanted. Do me one favor…please email me. Give me a chance to make things right between us. I hope that’s not too much to ask. So, I’ll be waiting for your response. Thinking of you, Julian.